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Author Topic: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties  (Read 1160 times)

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doomsdayprepper4570

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Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« on: October 20, 2017, 08:13:54 pm »


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
********************
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
********************
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
********************
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
Pies, you dumb ass' !!
*******************
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again..
********************
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
*******************
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
****************************** ****************
You have to be old enough to appreciate these.
If you don't understand them, it is because you are too young. lol
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Loose ends make my arse itch and I have just clipped my finger nails. So the itch flows to my trigger finger.

Pigdog

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Re: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2017, 12:55:16 pm »

Lol
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graynomad

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Re: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2017, 02:27:19 pm »

 :D
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grenadier

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Re: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2017, 03:47:52 pm »

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
down came a spider and sat down beside her
'Can I lick Yeppoon please miss?'
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graynomad

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Re: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2017, 04:54:28 pm »

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
down came a spider and sat down beside her
"F*ck off hairy legs, this is mine" said she
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grenadier

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Re: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2017, 06:02:13 pm »

I was trying to keep it clean. Like you did with Simple Simon. lol.
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doomsdayprepper4570

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Re: Nursery rhymes for the over fifties
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2017, 07:56:30 pm »

Sigh, you boys. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Loose ends make my arse itch and I have just clipped my finger nails. So the itch flows to my trigger finger.
 

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